Kenny Rogers is Intense

10.23.06 11 years ago

Kenny Rogers fucked up the Cardinals' world last night, allowing just two hits in eight scoreless innings, evening the World Series at a game apiece and restoring the Earth to its regular axis after a shocking sSt Louis win in Game 1 (AKA Jim Leyland toying with his prey). Everybody in the media is crapping their pants about the brown smudge on Rogers's hand in the first inning, but really: who gives a shit? It's not like it was on his hand when the Cardinals went hitless in innings two through seven.

I'm gonna say it: Kenny Rogers is 41 years old and he shares his name with an aging pop country artist: as a certifiable playoff badass, maybe it's time to just go by "Ken." (Rogers: "No way. Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.")

Okay, can I write posts about football now? I understand it's the World Series and all, but there were 12 football games yesterday. And NASCAR. And probably some hockey, but I'd have to look that up to make sure.

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