At 9 p.m. tonight, LeBron James – the King to you mere mortals – will be part of a one-hour special on ESPN that he suggested so that he can tell Michael Wilbon which team he is choosing during his exclusive interview. Or, I guess, The Decision, as ESPN so brilliantly named it. Join us in the comment section throughout the evening as we’ll be giving our poignant thoughts, reactions and dismissive wanking motions to whatever the hell they’re going to fill this hour with. We’ll answer such questions as “Will LeBron stay in Cleveland?” and “Will Chris Broussard’s sources tell him which commercials are next?” and “Will Burnsy apologize to Stephen A. Smith?” and “What’s that burning smell?” And the answers will be: No. Yes. Hell no. Cleveland.
Join us after the jump for our predictions for LeBron James presents LeBron James in a LeBron James Television Extravaganza: The Decision featuring LeBron James as LeBron James.
Punte: I don’t really know if LeBron will stay in Cleveland or not, but I know this: he’d better enjoy every single moment of his little special tonight. I guess if you can’t enjoy winning a championship trophy, the next best thing is to pretend that you’re the trophy.
RealRyanWalsh: Cleveland fans will watch with baited breath as LeBron breaks their hearts to sign with the Knicks. After which, they’ll down the special Kool-Aid they made for the occasion, in what will be remembered as the largest ritual suicide in the history of man.
Shakey: Thousands of fringe Miami Heat fans will dig through their entire collection of clothes to find that old Alonzo Mourning Heat jersey they’re 60% sure they own as they anticipate the signing of LeBron James only to be crushed when LeBron realizes that this thing was so much fun he wants to extend the suspense another week. Then they’ll go to the beach and forget about the whole thing within five minutes.
Burnsy: He’ll go to Miami because it’s easy. If the Heat win a title, awesome. Great for Miami and the millions of new fans the Heat will have tonight. And great for LeBron for really earning it like all the legends. Subsequently, Stephen A. Smith will go hoarse with “I told you so” rants that he has written in case LeBron chooses the Knicks, Bulls, or Nets, too.
Leave your thoughts below, and we’ll be here until we blow our brains out.