02.13.09 8 years ago • 10 Comments

It was either that bouquet or the Tuna Can of Victory

Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn will compete in the slalom at the world championships this weekend, less than a week after severing a tendon in her had after slicing her thumb on a broken champagne bottle. I guess she thought to herself, “Do I really need both of these thumbs to ski?”

Vonn sliced her thumb when she grabbed a broken champagne bottle at a party celebrating her downhill victory on Monday. She traveled to Austria for surgery to repair a severed tendon.

She missed Thursday’s giant slalom and spent two days testing out a specially designed splint that will enable her to hold her ski pole.

I love how they specified that it was a ski pole, and not some random dude’s genitalia. How’d you like to have the guy that was supposed to get some at that party on Monday? I have a headache. I had a long day. I cut my hand on a champagne bottle. All women are liars. A transvestite told me that once, so maybe she was only half-right.

[Y! Sports]

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