NBA Roundup: David Stern Has A Plan

Senior Writer
04.19.11 13 Comments

I’m a little late to the party with my NBA Playoffs orgy of information because I’m lazy. I have no other excuse than that. So I’m going to skip the formalities and make my quick predictions – Heat over Bulls, Thunder over Mavericks*, and the Heat winning it all. I know, it KILLS me to say that, but I’m an idiot who spent a whole season ripping the Heat and them playing the terribly mismatched Philadelphia 76ers is just the spark they need to win the title before the league shuts down for a year.

With that said, here’s a hastily thrown together and incredibly angry recap of last night’s action…

*I barely watched any Western Conference basketball this season, so that’s gonna be wrong.

Miami Heat 94, Philadelphia 76ers 73

This game was so disappointing for three reasons:

1) The Heat should have won by 50. With a 24-point lead and only 3 minutes left in the game, the Heat still had LeBron James, Chris Bosh and a sick Dwyane Wade in the game. If you’re going to be dicks, then be dicks with authority. The message was plain and simple – game 1 was a fluke, Miami was going to slaughter in game 2. Only a 21-point win? So sad.

2) With a 24-point lead and 3 minutes left, the Heat had their “Big 3” in. GROW SOME BALLS, PHILADELPHIA. How do you not stand up for yourselves and show some muscle? This is the same thing that the Cleveland Cavaliers f*cked up in their first match with LeBron and Co. this season. If someone is pissing on you, cut off the source. Thaddeus Young was terrible last night. The least he could have done was put Bosh on the ground a few times.

3) I grew up in Coral Springs, Florida. From 1989 to 2005, I was a huge Heat fan. I’ve attended over 100 Heat games in my life. I owned Harold Miner and Sherman Douglas jerseys. So to hear Ernie Johnson’s stupid “taking it to South Beach” comments throughout Chrysler commercials and when talking about other players who might want to play for Miami next season was irritating, to be kind. Sorry, this is just a personal annoyance, but calling the Heat a South Beach team is like saying the Tampa Bay Rays actually play in Tampa.

Page 2

Chicago Bulls 96, Indiana Pacers 90

So you’ve probably been wondering what the title of this post is all about. I think David Stern is the worst person in the history of sports, so when it comes to talking about the NBA, I may be a little biased. With that said, when Tim Donaghy was busted for betting on games that he officiated, Stern should have – SHOULD HAVE – cleaned house and fired every ref in the NBA and started fresh as a means of telling his league’s fans that he will not tolerate that crap.

Instead, he continues to employ the worst officiating crew in professional sports with no apology. As I watched last night’s game, and watched the Bulls narrowly escape another embarrassing loss to the 8-seed that was 20-18 under an interim coach this season, it became more evident than ever that Stern has an agenda.

Call me crazy, call me a dumbass, call me a moron, call me whatever. The fact remains that in the closing minutes of last night’s second game, calls were made that embarrassed the NBA. There were two fouls in particular – the call against Roy Hibbert late in the game was ultimately ridiculous, and there was a foul against Derrick Rose – who is absurd and deserves a championship for the way he’s playing – that was horrible as well, but I don’t remember it because I was already drinking to forget. I’ve already lost my train of thought. This is why I can’t have nice things.

Bottom line – Indiana deserved to lose Game 1 but should have won Game 2. I blame the refs because Stern wants his premium market teams to win because his league lost $300 million last year and is heading toward a crippling lockout. But I also think Oswalt (Oswald, but I love the misspelling) acted alone, so who knows?

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Ashley Burns has written about movies, TV, and sports for UPROXX since the site's first day.

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