08.27.08 9 years ago

A postage worker in Maine stole a valuable baseball card from the mail then blamed it on OCD. Ufford said he has a similar problem with touching women’s breasts in public, as I do with filming it. We’re co-enablers, it seems.

Richard Trofatter Jr. pleaded guilty… to a Class A misdemeanor count of theft of lost or mislaid property. His attorney, James Noucas, told the court his client was recently treated for “obsessive compulsive behavior surrounding baseball cards” and, according to a police report, Trofatter described himself as “borderline addicted” to collecting the cards.

A police affidavit filed with the court by Detective John Peracchi says he was contacted by a representative of the Postal Service on May 7 reporting the “mail theft” of a 1915 Cracker Jack baseball card depicting New York Giants pitcher and Hall of Famer Christy Mathewson.

The card had been graded and given a serial number before it was put in the mail by an eBay seller in Wisconsin who insured it for $655, according to court records.

This makes me incredibly uneasy about the future of my burgeoning stripper-organs-by-mail business. Not only is there the inherent difficulty of keeping already bruised body parts fresh during shipping, you have to worry about some postage official possibly swiping them. And all they want them for is target practice for their concealed weapons. Goddamn it, mail carriers, quit horning in on my victims!

[Walk Off Walk]

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