Power Rankings: Old People Are Lookin For You. They Gone Find You. They Gone Find You

09.10.10 7 years ago 3 Comments

When other sports sites do power rankings, they’re tedious and stupid. When we do Power Rankings, they kick so much ass.

1. The Antoine Dodson Meme. This thing will never die, nor should it. Our latest reincarnation involves a bunch of old people. Finally, a use for old people. Kudos to MTV’s Pete Conolly.

2. Sleeping in the loo. Rams coach Steve Spagnuolo, you’re doing it right. And yes, I called it a loo. Deport me.

3. Bacon. So awesome that it could only be judged against itself.

4. Tom Brady. Dude gets paid with a 4-year $72-million deal just hours after walking away from a two-car crash. It helps when your entire head of hair serves as a helmet.

5. Icecubes. You’re just gonna have to read it.

6. Terrelle Pryor’s Good Intentions. Jim Tressel’s quarterback imploring Buckeye fans to take it easy on LeBron James in the event that the NBA star shows up in Columbus for the Ohio State-Miami game. I have a feeling that we will all be witnesses to a terrific shower of boos for James. And one-hopped balls from Pryor. Get your head in the game, son.

7. The non-existence of the brontosaurus. Seriously, this is rocking my world right now.

8. Anything with Disney princesses. Without these hand-drawn ladies, I may never have found my penis.

9. Pac-Man. This is the latest from those guys that do that stop-motion animation in that lecture hall. Okay, I admit it. I’m impressed.

10. Flying Cars. We’re almost there, people. Take a gander at the latest.

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