Amir Sayoud is a lot of things. He’s an Algerian footballer currently playing as an attacking midfielder for Egyptian side Al-Ahly, he’s the love-child of Tom Haverford and Jean-Ralphio from “Parks and Recreation” — but I know what he really is.
Watch the video. It’s making the rounds on the Internet today, showing up on Dirty Tackle (and anywhere with “fail” in the title) as a supreme example of someone trying to pull off a cheap soccer move and eating grass. That should be the end of it, but it looked familiar to me, so I flipped back through some of my earlier posts from this summer and realized his stutter-step, faceplant and harmless dribbler to the goalkeeper was nearly identical to the epic fail of the Japanese Robot Soccer Cat. Yes, it’s my theory that this isn’t a “fail”, but the best kick from a robotic Japanese soccer playing cat who has entered Mark II and had his exoskeleton-covering kitty costume replaced humanoid flesh.
Don’t believe me? Watch the video below and compare the shots yourself.
Eerily similar, but at least he didn’t decapitate himself. Deny it all you want, but in five years when FC Dallas is getting gunned down by cyborg gunships, don’t say I didn’t warn you.