Because it's Friday and I'm bored, I'm gonna take a little trip in the way-back machine for this Universal Newsreel. This takes you back to a day when the First Lady was sexy and went water-skiing with astronauts, all golfers were white, and track and field events had an effect on Cold War policy. The good old days, man. Before the hippies fucked everything up and gave Viet Nam to the Commies. Back then you could start smoking cigars and drinking scotch in the office at 2:00 p.m., smack your secretary on the ass for a job well done, and wear a hat with your suit to work. Things were awesome back then. If you were a white male, anything was possible.
SPORTS USED TO BE PURE, MAN