The Best And Worst Of Smackdown 6/13/14: A Jobber Time Capsule

06.14.14 3 years ago 41 Comments


Tuesday’s Smackdown tapings were a different time, man.

Pre-show Notes:

Hey guys, help fill the Aksana-shaped hole in my heart by sharing the Smackdown report. I know it probably won’t work, but darnit, it’s worth a shot. Here’s the buttons!

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Worst: These Show-Opening Shield Promos Are The Ass

Lately Smackdown has got into the habit of starting the show with in-ring Shield talky segments, and they have not been good. Dean Ambrose was at his hand-jiving, 23-skidooing worst tonight. At one point he called Triple H “kiddo” — I don’t care if you’re trying to be intentionally condescending, you don’t call WWE’s immortal god king (who happens to be 16-years older than you) kiddo.

Also, Roman Reigns just straight up re-used his line from Raw about Randy Orton being the ass of the company. Listen, that shit wasn’t alright when Batista was doing it, and it’s not acceptable coming out of your pouty lips either Roman.

As if on cue, Reigns and Ambrose’s Triple H trashing was interrupted by Triple H himself, who was in an oddly magnanimous mood tonight. He said there’d be only one Money in the Bank qualifying match tonight, which you’d think would be set-up for Triple H pitting brother against brother, but instead he just flipped coin and gave Ambrose the qualifying match with Bray Wyatt. Well gee corrupt overlord, that was awfully sporting of you! I guess we were supposed to be mad Triple H didn’t just give the match to Reigns because he has bigger muscles and “deserves” it more? Then he banned Roman Reigns and Harper and Rowan from ringside — thanks for the even-handed decision Mr. Evil Despot! Weird.

Worst: Roman Reigns Singles Matches

I was pretty excited when BNB came swaggering out onto the stage — a legit fresh match! Unfortunately Reigns is just not there yet as a singles performer. Bad News Barrett is an underrated worker who’s managed to pull good matches out of questionable workers like RVD lately, but he couldn’t make it happen with Reigns.

Our Samoan prince has the Superman punch, he has the spear, but until it comes time to unleash them, he doesn’t have much — it’s all so-so punching and frequent breaks to smoulder at the hard camera. He’s also one of those big guys who doesn’t really know how to work like a big guy. His style makes sense in tag matches, which are all about selling, selling, selling until you can get the hot tag, but Reigns spends too much time down on the mat in singles matches. They really need to turn Sheamus heel, because Reigns desperately needs some “how to hit hard, have a million signature moves and sell without looking like a chump” lessons from the best big guy in the company.

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