The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 2/13/12 Embraces Hate, Melodrama, Wheelchair Violence

By: 02.14.12  •  114 Comments

Pre-show notes (hey, you should actually read this part):

– Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.

– As I mentioned if you follow me on Twitter, this week I’m doing my second ever old show Best And Worst report for No Way Out 2007. It should be fun. Check back for that on Friday, or Saturday, or one of the weekdays after that when I’m making excuses about how I write too much.

Comments are appreciated! You guys are pretty solid on that at this point, but by now you should be sharing the column on Facebook, “liking” it, Tweeting it, tweeting ABOUT it, whatever. Pinterest it, if that’s a thing people do.

– Images and gifs this week are courtesy of column regular THESTINGER, who did THEAWESOMEJOB. Please visit him at The Hammer Dialectic. When you’re done reading his stuff, head over to UGO and read Aubrey Sitterson’s Good Slash Bad Slash Ugly of Raw.

– This weekend is Anarchy Championship Wrestling’s first show in San Antonio in a few months, so if you’re a Best And Worst reader in the area, make it a point to stop by, hang out with me and watch a sh*t-ton of great wrestling. I’ll introduce you to Rachel and everything.

Anyway, please enjoy the Best And Worst Of WWE Raw for February 13, 2012.

Page 2
Subscribe to UPROXX

Worst: John Laurinaitis Has Pictures Of Kurt Angle Having Sex With Sharmell?

I write ten wordy-ass paragraphs about him every week, so I’ll present two options:

1. What made CM Punk great when he wasn’t great to everybody was that he always sounded like he meant what he was saying. When he ran down Raven for doing drugs and wasting opportunities, it felt real. Same thing when he made fun of Jeff Hardy for blowing his dream job. When he says “clownshoes” and says that Laurinaitis has leverage over the board of directors because of “naked pictures of bestiality” it sounds like something they came up with in creative and wrote between “bad breath” and “farts” on the dry erase board.

2. I bought into the CM Punk character and am a total rube mark. Phil Brooks came up with a cool thing that was convincing and got people like me on board, and now he’s tweaked it to get all the people who aren’t like me to cheer him and buy his t-shirts. There are a lot more people like them.

Long story short, I hate how stupid Punk makes me feel now. I don’t like him as the “guy who is funny at talking!” I don’t know. The more I write about it, the dumber I feel, and sh*t, I’m the guy about to write about who great it was when a guy said “dolph” sounded like “dolphins”. I wish I could throw that dry erase board into the sun.

Best: R-Truth Is Better Than Everyone Else Out Here Because He’s The Only One Not Taking It Seriously

…and I’m paraphrasing here:

Punk: “I am the best wrestler in the world!”

Dolph: “I’m better than you!”

Miz: “I’m better than both of you!”

Jericho: “I’m better than all of you!”


Even Kofi Kingston, whose personality is normally “smile and wave to the nice fans”, pulled a “I’m a hungry young lion and my shirt has a lion on it now and I will defeat you all!” But here’s Truth, playing with the “what” chants, calling Jerry Lawler “your honor”, announcing that he’d trade people to Smackdown for Hornswoggle and a box of spiders “if elected” and winning a bright, shiny best for being the first person in like four years to say, “Dolph Ziggler? That’s a stupid name!” Because, seriously.

I’ve been wary of Truth’s transition from deranged psychopath to lovable, Cuckoo’s Nest-esque man of mental disease who just needs someone to take him fishing, but if he keeps lightening these forced moods with f**king dolphin noises, I’m sold.

Super Best: Dolph Ziggler’s Reaction To Being Told He’s Named After Flipper


Easily the intentionally funniest moment of the show. Secondary best for HOW DO YOU WORK HERE?

Worst: Time To Pull The Plug On The Miz

I think I speak for everyone when I say Miz needs a year or two teaming with Chavo Guerrero and the Lunch Ladies or whoever in Ring Ka King to tighten up the part of his brain that remembers how words sound and get his sh*t together. As an adoptive Clevelander I’ve got a deep, everlasting love for the Oh-Bros who’ve made it (Derrick Bateman, Dolph Ziggler, Miz, hell, even me, Michael Tarver), but yeah, Miz has either plateaued or is in desperate need of a break.

Jericho tossed him under the bus last week, and putting him in the ring with a bunch of guys who are better than him at everything (and Kofi Kingston) isn’t helping. Fantasy booking idea: have Miz get all sentimental and try to reform Extreme Expose, only to find out that Brooke eloped with Kahoneys or whatever and lives next to Shark Boy at the Impact Zone.

Worst: Chris Jericho’s New Character

In the span of two weeks, Jericho has gone from one of the most compelling reinventions of a character in wrestling history to a f**king reissue of Malibu Stacy: exactly like the old one, but with a new jacket. I don’t know how excited to get now that I know he’s the same guy he was when he left, wearing 2007 Jericho’s clothes. You’re legitimately one of the best ever, Jericho, let’s see what you were bragging about creating.

Oh, and before I forget:



He is!

Around The Web


From Showman To Shaman: How An Assassination Attempt Changed Bob Marley’s Life And Music

From Zero To Guitar Hero, Meet The Small-Town Musician Who’s Well On His Way

Hannibal Buress On ‘Comedy Camisado,’ Animation, And Doing Stand-Up In Japan

Phil Matarese And Mike Luciano Talk ‘Animals.’ And Creating Television In Their Apartment

‘Black Sheep’ Revisited: The Farley-Spade Classic That Could’ve Been, 20 Years Later

EAT THIS CITY: Chef Callie Speer Shares Her ‘Can’t Miss’ Food Experiences In Austin, Texas

Kimbo Slice Is Down To Fight Kurt Angle And Roy Jones, Jr. As Soon As He Settles His Business At Bellator 149

By:  •  2 Comments

A Top Recruit Michigan Landed On Signing Day Isn’t Who You Think He Is At All

Henry Louis Gates, Jr. On How His Personal Ancestry Obsessions Led To ‘Finding Your Roots’

Love Books? Plan A Trip To The Most Literary City In The Country

What The Shot-For-Shot Remake Of The ‘Magnum P.I.’ Intro Tells Us About ‘Archer’ Season 7

By:  •  2 Comments

‘The Most Badass Event’: Experiencing A Truck Race On A Ski Mountain, Which Is As Crazy As It Sounds