Everything is coming up Germany as the newest Miss Germany was crowned, and while this has nothing to do with actual sports, it does involve competition, those crazy krauts in Germany, and a cow pageant. That’s right, Miss Germany is a cow, and not in the sense of “Hey bro, did you see the cow that D-Bone came home with the other night?” She’s a big old bovine beauty, and last week Krista the cow not only one this year’s title, but she also became a back-to-back champion.
To get her in top form for the competition, Krista’s owner sent her to a special training camp, where she was washed and brushed daily, in addition to being acclimated to the noise and stress that are part of each pageant. But it wasn’t exactly a supermodel-style weight-loss program. The cow from the town of Grossenkneten in Lower Saxony was actually encouraged to beef up with hay to achieve a round belly and firm, buxom udder.
For the owners, the beauty pageant is just for fun. But there is some pride that comes with helping a contestant make it to the top. Krista’s breeder, Jörg Seeger, was photographed giving the cow a happy kiss after her big win. (Spiegel Online)
Well of course he kissed her after he witnessed that firm, buxom udder. I’m getting so hot just thinking about it right now. But I’ll be honest, this all seems a bit tame for Germany, and I look forward to finding out that Krista is now a techno music superstar with a goat bondage porn addiction.
(Images via Spiegel Online)
Damn girl, work that thing.
Another trophy that LeBron James didn’t win.
He’s kissing Krista’s eyeball, so I suppose that’s typical Germany.
“SCHNELL! SCHNELL! YOU UGLY COW! YOU ARE ZEE VURST!”
You’ve gotta really get your shoulder into it if you want to tip that cow, kid.
“I loved you in Top Secret!”
Well now I get the point.
Go on get yo hair did, girl.
Go to town, hoss.