The Lakers Empire Is Crumbling

Things are not going well for the back-to-back NBA champion Los Angeles Lakers, as an embarrassing 104-85 loss to the Memphis Grizzlies last night has some people believing that the wheels are falling off in Smog City. The Lakers, still in first place in the Western Conference’s Pacific Division with an 8-game lead, have attracted naysayers in the wake of Phil Jackson and Kobe Bryant swapping blame after losing to the Griz. Phil says that Kobe wasn’t sharing while Kobe says that Phil doesn’t concentrate on each game. And Ron Artest said that the purple dove flies solo in the Eskimo sundance.

Regarding the 19-point home loss to the 15-19 Grizzlies, Jackson said…

“Kobe had to screw up the game and start energizing the team by going one-on-one,” Jackson said, according to USA Today. “That takes the rest of the guys out and as a consequence, that didn’t bring us back in.” (Via All Headline News)

Screw up the game, eh? What say you, Black Mamba?

“We’ve had days off and blown teams out, so I’m not buying any of that Zen (bulls–t),” Bryant said. “I think we’re looking too far down the road instead of looking just at the game that’s right in front of you. You start skipping steps if you look too far down the line.”

Zen bullsh*t, ehhhhhh? Well well well, looks like we have ourselves a tasty little postgame disagreement. Well, if I may interject some wisdom, I think the clear solution to this problem is to fire Jackson and trade Bryant to the Orlando Magic, and spend the next decade rebuilding. Otherwise, we’re just going to continue to hurt the fans. Don’t believe me? Take a look at poor David Arquette.

Back in November, Arquette was riding high as the greatest Lakers fan in history (sit down, Nicholson) and he was rubbing elbows with A-listers at Ron Artest’s birthday party. But as the Lakers have gone 2-2 since losing to the Miami Heat on Christmas, Arquette has been unable to go on, and he has checked into rehab. Hopefully the Lakers can get better so he can go back to giving us legendary performances…

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As a fan of pro wrestling for way longer than I should ever actually admit, the inclusion of Disco Inferno slays me every time. This movie is a national treasure.

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