THIS GUY IS A PIMP

03.10.08 10 years ago 21 Comments

As noted in this morning's SAN, Marlins reliever Logan Kensing hunts wild boar and coyotes on his Texas ranch… from a helicopter.  And I think I speak for everyone cool when I say HELL FUCKING YES.

Kensing talked about his hobby in these terms: "The pilot's pretty good. He gets right next to them. We spot them, he flies in sideways, glides and we shoot them."

As you might expect, a bunch of douchebags who have never had to deal with wild boar and coyotes on their property are being little bitches about it.

"We want the Marlins to make him agree to stop," said the Palm Beach County Environmental Coalition's co-chair, attorney Barry Silver… On Saturday, he sent a strongly worded letter to Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria. "They have 10 days from Monday to reprimand the player for behavior that isn't one of a role model. If they don't, we will be persistent. We'll infiltrate the fans and pull out signs. We'll picket."

Oooohhh!  The make-him-stop-or-we'll-buy-tickets-to-your-games attack!  Brilliant strategy!

Said Silver: "When killing becomes mechanized, it's all too easy. Scientific literature makes it clear that when someone engages in violence against animals, that person is more likely to commit violence against people."

Yes, if he's willing to legally hunt animals to preserve his investment, why, he's already nine-tenths of the way to releasing humans on a private island and hunting them for sport. Which, by the way, is  another thing that I approve of.  As long as those people are immigrants.

[Fan IQ

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