Of course I had to go and jinx Stanford yesterday. Let me offer my sincerest apologies to the Cardinal fans out there for me rubbing my awful loser stench all over their football team that couldn’t even beat the stupid Washington Huskies. I owe you, so instead of relevant images, I’ve included special GIFs. But they’re only for Stanford people, because they have so little and go on to lead such meaningless lives.
NCAA Football: Hawaii at BYU – 8 PM ET on ESPN
Would it kill the NCAA to schedule some good games on Friday nights? Like what about Baylor at West Virginia or FSU at USF in the Dsylexic Bowl? And why don’t USF and FSU play that game at Tropicana Field so we can call it the Palindrome in the Dome? Questions.
NCAA Football: Missouri at UCF – Noon ET on FOX Sports Network
I’m a UCF fan and I’m from Missouri, so naturally my friends think this is like the huge battle of my two favorite teams. “Which side will he choose?” Who cares, just make sure I have cold beers and a basket of chips.
NCAA Football: Ohio State at Michigan State – 3:30 PM ET on ABC
I love Le’Veon Bell. Shit, sorry Spartans fans.
NFL: New England at Buffalo – 1 PM ET on CBS
What the hell is going on with this incredible new trend of players coming back from injuries faster than anyone expected? First, Adrian Peterson completely assplodes his knee and now he’s “rust-free”, and now Aaron Hernandez is already out of his boot and doing cartwheels like all guys do (SEE, DAD?!?!). I think there’s a serious 6th Day vibe happening here.
NFL: Miami at Arizona – 4:05 PM ET on CBS
Not because anyone cares about this game, but it’s really interesting to see if Arizona is for real or not.
NFL: NY Giants at Philadelphia – 8:20 PM ET on NBC
Hakeem Nicks is currently doubtful, so Domenik Hixon will replace him if Nicks can’t play. What the crap, Giants? I’m Team Barden.