THIS WEEK IN SPOUSAL ABUSE

FC Dallas CEO Smothered His Wife With A Pillow, Or ‘Help Me Pick A New MLS Team’

By | 27 Comments

Nothing makes you feel quite as warm on your insides as waking up to read about how the head of your favorite Major League Soccer club celebrated his 50th birthday by beating the shit out of his wife and smothering her with a pillow until she was unconscious.

ZENIT ST. PETERSBURG

Russian Soccer Fans Celebrate A Win By Trying To Kill Everybody With Fire

By | 4 Comments

It's getting harder and harder to shock you with violent soccer stories.

WOMEN'S SOCCER

Theory: A Soccer Headshot Is Funnier If It Happens Twice

By | 2 Comments

Here are some great jokes about this video of a shifty series of events at a women's college soccer match, assuming you are a total asshole: 1.

SOCCER FANS ARE INSANE

Soccer Fans Are Trying To Blow Up Their Least Favorite Players

By | 7 Comments

In the grand tradition of <a href="http://withleather.uproxx.com/2012/09/soccer-grenade-explosion-video" target="_blank">somebody throwing a grenade at soccer players</a> comes this clip from Sunday's match between Anorthosis and Omonia Nicosia, wherein a player gets injured and somebody in the crowd throws firecrackers at him.

WIKIPEDIA

Here’s A Bad Idea: A Soccer Organization Calling Middle Eastern People ‘Sand Monkeys’

By | 9 Comments

<a href="https://twitter.com/MayorBurnsy" target="_blank">Burnsy</a> sent me this story in an e-mail this morning.

SOCCER DIVES

The Worst Of Soccer Dives, Now With 100% More Sniper Footage

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In case you need another reason to miss hockey, here's the worst of soccer dives.

SOCCER

Great, Now He’s Got Pink Eye

By | 6 Comments

I had no idea that soccer EMTs having no idea how to operate a stretcher and lifting dudes into their own asses was an epidemic, but apparently <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/dirty-tackle/post/when-carrying-a-player-off-on-a-stretcher-is-harder-than-it-should-be;_ylt=A2KJ3CXXnwRP52oAqkFNbK5_?urn=sow-wp5401">it has happened before</a> and Confianca player "Arthur" is its latest victim.

SOCCER

France Has Surrendered To The Homeless

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More than 500 bums, hobos, transients, tramps, and the “socially marginalized” from 48 countries have gathered in Paris, France for <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/22/homeless-world-cup-kicks-_n_932677.html?ir=Sports">the 9th annual Homeless Cup games</a>.

WORLD CUP QUALIFIERS

Now That’s A Fantastic Soccer Flop

By | 3 Comments

Bryan Carrasco plays for the Chilean under-20 national soccer team and today he is well on his way to becoming a global Internet superstar.

VLADE DIVAC

The Most Depressing Story Ever Told

By | 15 Comments

I'd like to say that I understand the passion soccer fans have, but this is just unbelievable.

SOCCER

ITALIAN SOCCER PLAYERS LIKE TO TAKE DIVES

By | 18 Comments

You've never seen this before, unless you watch soccer, then you see an Italian taking a theatrical dive is all too often.


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