Justified (FX) — Have you seen the Natalie Zea Esquire photos yet? Good God, that woman will be the little death of me. If you read the text that goes with the pictures — and believe me, the first time I went through the pictures I just clicked to look at the large version of the photos (see following slides) — you’ll learn little revelations like she’s “a big drinker” (good), she owns cats (bad), and says things like, “I’m not a big bra girl at all. And I’m finally on a show that’s on cable, where I’m allowed to not wear a bra and I’m very happy about that. I’ve always been fighting for braless, so much so to the point where the networks asked the standards and practices to call up producers and be like, ‘You have got to get that broad to wear a bra, because we’re having to airbrush out her nipples.'” [For the ladies: there’s some artsy Timothy Olyphant in silhouette at this behind-the-scenes “Justified” gallery.]
Ghost Hunters (Syfy) — Season premiere. I saw this in the listings and was momentarily excited when I misread it as “Goth Hunters.” I pictured fat teens in heavy eye makeup and combat boots getting hunted down ex-Green Berets.
America’s Next Top Model (CW) — Season premiere. Good Lord, this show is still on TV? Knock it off, women and gays.
Shedding for the Wedding (CW) — Series premiere. Fatties try to lose weight to look good for their ceremonies, only to gain it back in the first three months of marriage. I’d rather this be about corgis shedding fur before a dog wedding.
Top Chef (Bravo) — Paula Deen serves as a guest judge for the six remaining contestants’ deep fryer skills. I get a little shiver every time I think about Paula Deen; I swear she can unhinge her jaw and eat an entire deep-fried turkey.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Donald Rumsfeld on “The Daily Show” (watch for fireworks); Jason Sudeikis on Conan; Rainn Wilson and the Mountain Goats on Letterman (separately, that’s not one act); and Joel McHale on Ferguson. McHale and Olyphant on TV on the same night? BRB, gonna be gay for a few hours.
(full listings at TV Squad)
