In case you missed the ads plastered all over this webpage yesterday, last night was the season premiere of “Sons of Anarchy,” effectively beginning the Fall 2011 TV season. Old favorites will return, and as much as I’m looking forward to “Community” and “Parks and Recreation,” I also love September and October because of the new shows that hit the air.
On the next few pages, you’ll see a list of new shows, what they’re about, whether they’re for you, and to make things a little more interesting, drinking game suggestions. Because how else are you supposed to sit through an entire episode of “Whitney”? So here we go, and if all the shows look like dog poop, at least we’ve got three episodes of “Archer” to look forward to.
“Ringer” (CW, September 13, 9 p.m.)
Plot: Bridget (Sarah Michelle Gellar) goes on the run after witnessing a murder, taking on the identity of her identical twin sister — only to find out her sibling’s life is just as messed as up hers.
Is It for You? Does the name “Miss Kitty Fantastico” mean anything to you? If not, then you’re not the intended target audience for “Ringer.” No, not stay-at-home lesbians (although…), but rather fans of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” I can’t think of another show as dependent on a pre-existing fan base as CW/”Ringer” is with Sarah Michelle Gellar/”Buffy” fans. The pilot’s been getting decent buzz, and it may be worth checking out, if only because it’s not a show about emasculated males, a trope you’ll soon become familiar with.
Drinking Game Idea: Take a shot for every review of “Ringer” that mentions “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”
“H8R” (CW, September 14, 8 p.m.)
Plot: Host Mario Lopez invites Snooki, Kim Kardashian, and other pseudo-celebrities/reasons why ppl h8 USA 2 make their case 2 their H8Rs on y they should b <3.
Is It for You? If you’re not totally convinced that Barry Bonds is a cheater and justice obstructer and all-around dick, and you feel ESPN’s “Bonds on Bonds” didn’t show the real Home Run King, and you think there’s a side of Mr. Bonds we haven’t seen before, then you should watch “H8R.”
Drinking Game Idea: Take a shot every time one of the celebrities says the word “jealous.”
“Up All Night” (NBC, September 14, 10 p.m.)
Plot: A couple has a baby, and they struggle to juggle the newborn with their old lives.
Is It for You? “Up All Night” has one heck of a cast. Will Arnett and Christina Applegate are the headliners, but Maya Rudolph and, um, Nick Cannon are there, too. The show was also created by Emily Spivey, whose background includes writing gigs for “Parks and Recreation” and “King of the Hill,” so that gives you the hope that it’ll be better than its dirty diapers premise. But is it for you? If you’ll watch anything with any “Arrested Development” alumni, like I will (I’ve even seen Let’s Go to Prison…more than once), then yes to “Up All Night.”
Drinking Game Idea: Take a shot every time poop is used as a joke. Not a poop joke, but actual poop.
“Free Agents” (NBC, September 14, 10:30 p.m.)
Plot: Two public relations executive have relations of their own, but decide (and presumably fail) to keep up a professional relationship in the office.
Is It for You? It doesn’t really matter, because as likeable as Hank Azaria (“The Simpsons”), Anthony Head (“Buffy the Vampire Slayer”), and Joe Lo Truglio (“The State”) are, “Free Agents” is likely to be one of the first new shows canceled this fall. It’s a remake of a British comedy about PR executives looking for love, going against both “Survivor” and “The X-Factor.” I’d rather put my money on the Panthers winning the Super Bowl this season than on season two of “Free Agents.”
[Editor's Note: I've seen the pilot, and I thought it was pretty damn good. So don't listen to Josh. No one should EVER put money on the Panthers winning the Super Bowl.]
Drinking Game Idea: Take a shot for yourself when you think of the millions Azaria has made as the voice of Moe.
“2 Broke Girls” (CBS, September 19, 9:30 p.m.)
Plot: Two twentysomething waitresses (Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs) work together at a restaurant in Brooklyn, hoping to save enough money to open up a cupcake shop.
Is It for You? The prospect of watching Kat Dennings for 22 minutes every week is intriguing, and it’s likely that many “How I Met Your Mother” fans will give it a shot when the show moves to its normal 8:30 p.m. slot, but the words “twentysomething,” “Brooklyn,” and “cupcake shop” together are about as worrisome as the fact that “2 Broke Girls” was co-created by Whitney Cummings. Plus, Behrs’s character is a former socialite who has to work as a waitress because her father was indicted in a Ponzi scheme. The year 2008 would have LOVED “2 Broke Girls.” Still: Kat Dennings.
Drinking Game Idea: Take a shot every time the word “hipster” is uttered.