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Kris Humphries To Appear On Episode Of ‘Man Caves.’ I Don’t Care.

By / 12.08.11

Pictured: Artist's rendering of divorce


You know what saying always bugged me? “People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.” It’s like, uh, yeah. You know who else shouldn’t throw stones? People who live in ANY house. Sure, the stones might not shatter your walls or roof, but still, you can’t just huck rocks all over the place — even if you live in a castle. You could break your TV, or your laptop, or maybe accidentally donk your roommate or significant other right in the face. Try to collect their share of the cable bill after that. AWK-ward.

If you ask me, maybe the saying should be something more like “People with deviant sexual fetishes shouldn’t live in glass houses.” That way they won’t creep out their neighbors. Unless, like, your fetish is to be an exhibitionist and you WANT everyone to see what kind of weird business you’re up to in there. Then maybe you should live in a glass house. But at least consider living somewhere a little more secluded if you’re gonna do that. I mean, this is America and you have a lot of freedom, but that doesn’t mean you can just sit around in your glass house with your ding-a-ling out in the middle of a neighborhood. There are kids around, you know? So I guess really the saying should be “Don’t throw stones and go live in the woods if you want to be a creep.” Yeah, that’s much more practical. I’m glad we settled that.

Admittedly, none of this has anything to do with that dingus Kris Humphries or his moronic “man cave,” but if I had actually tried to write about that I would have ended up throwing my computer into traffic. Plus, I think this was an important discussion to have. Thank you for your time.


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