Work It (ABC) – Just for fun, I Googled “‘Work It’ + review” a minute ago. HOO BOY. TV critics are absolutely taking a flamethrower to this show. Seriously, I might watch it just out of morbid curiosity. (NOTE: Do not do this if you are a Nielsen viewer. I will LITERALLY kill you.)
The Biggest Loser (NBC) – Season premiere. If you were wondering if the title of this show still makes me laugh after years and years on the air, the answer is a definitive “Yes.”
NCIS/NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS) – Mark Harmon and LL Cool J get lifetime passes for their involvement in Summer School and the song “Hey Lover,” respectively. Everyone else is on their own.
Celebrity Wife Swap (ABC) – Hand to God, this is what is happening on this show tonight: the wives of Gary Busey and totally-not-gay-ok-maybe-a-little-gay minister Ted Haggard are swapping places. Jesus Mighty. If only for this one episode, the title of this show should be changed to “The Most Patient and Understanding Women Alive.”
Chopped (Food Network) – For the entrée round, the chefs must cook “a meat with a peculiar name.” Like what, D’Brickashaw?
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Everyone is back tonight and most of them have decent guests, but HOLY CRAP listen to this lineup on Leno tonight: Whitney Cummings, Snooki, and musical guest will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas. This is the most Leno lineup imaginable. Like, if you figured out a way to concentrate all the years of all the shows he has done into a test tube of 100% Leno extract, this is what you would get. It is the weaponized DERP of late night talk shows.