Survivor: One World (CBS) — Tonight’s episode will feature an “unforgivable betrayal,” which is marketing speak for: “All of our contestants suck really hard this season, so please, please watch.” Oh, alright.
Happy Endings (ABC) — I don’t want to alarm any of you, but the only new episode on ABC’s Wednesday night lineup is “Happy Endings.” On the one hand, that’s great. It’s the only one I love. On the other, why is ABC burning off “Happy Endings” episodes at a faster pace than the rest of their lineup? Are they planning on plugging something new into that timeslot later in the spring? Why would they want to test it without a “Modern Family” lead-in? Don’t you touch “Happy Endings,” ABC. Have you seen the shrine the Internet has built to “Community.” You don’t want that on your hands.
Psych (USA) — “Psych” is my very favorite non-appointment TV show. If I have time, sure. If not, no biggie. The show will be on forever, and Gus and Shawn will exchange the same banter, and it will always be kind of entertaining. Tonight’s the type of night I might watch — it’s Ghostbuster-themed. Anyone have any favorite “Psych” episodes? Mine was the “Twin Peaks”-themed eps, and the blaxploitation homage.
America’s Top Model: British Invasion (CW) — On tonight’s episode, the models will dress as toddlers while posing with Kris Jenner and her daughters Kendall and Kylie. This is not a joke. Apparently, they wanted to combine three of the worst thing on television into one episode: “Toddlers and Tiaras,” the Kardashians, and modeling competition.
Top Chef Reunion (Bravo) — I’m going to watch it because I’m a completest, but I’m not going to like it because Andy Cohen will be hosting. Andy Cohen is seriously the most annoying man on television. If I had my way, there would be a reality program that pitted Andy Cohen and Guy Fieri in a weekly cage match, and it would continue until someone died. The winner would then be mauled by a bear.
LATE NIGHT LISTINGS: “The Daily Show,” “The Colbert Report,” and Ferguson are the only late nighters not in reruns this week. They have Cecile Richards, Willem Dafoe, and Susan Sarandon on, respectively.