Everyone stop what you’re doing and read this sentence:
“The Voice” coach Cee Lo Green is replacing his fan-favorite feline sidekick with a cockatoo for the singing competition’s upcoming third season, he tells People. [TV Guide]
It’s insane that we live in a world where that statement makes sense. Just think about all the individual parts that make it up:
- One of the coaches/judges on a popular televised singing competition had a sidekick.
Here is a list of people who need sidekicks: superheroes, crime-solvers. List complete.
- The sidekick was a cat.
Cats lack the fundamental skills (the ability to speak, the ability to recognize exceptional vocal talent, etc.) to judge singing competitions.
- The cat sidekick was “a fan-favorite.”
Translation: The viewers of the show responded well to the concept of a cat helping a strange little bald man select the winner of a singing competition, even though, as mentioned above, cats cannot judge singing competitions.
- At the end of the show’s second season, the coach/judge decided to get rid of his popular cat sidekick.
Related: I always liked the second Aunt Viv more than the first one. She seemed nicer.
- He replaced it with a bird.
- The bird is a pink cockatoo named Lady.
Of course it is. Never change, Cee Lo.