Modern Family/Suburgatory (ABC, 9 p.m.) – Tonight on Modern Family … [drum roll] … BUD BUNDY! That’s right, David Faustino will be reunited with his old TV dad. If nothing else, this gives me a chance to remind all of you about the time his TV sister, Christina Applegate, posed for a picture with a falcon AND a snake. So, yeah, definitely good news.
The Americans (FX, 10 p.m.) – One of the things we’re all overlooking about this show is that it is set in 1981, and that means at literally ANY time someone could say, “Sorry guys, I can’t go spying tonight. I have tickets to the Billy Squier concert.” Please keep that in mind.
Southland (TNT, 10 p.m.) – Whenever I watch a serious show like this — and for the record, someone gets injured in a drive-by tonight — I always wish they’d throw in some ridiculously juvenile joke right in the middle of it. Like, a whoopie cushion gag or something. I would be bad at writing for a drama.
El Rostro de la Venganza (Telemundo, 10 p.m.) – Translation: The Face of Vengeance. Spanish television’s show titling game is immaculate.
Workaholics (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.) – Adam and Ders try to get rich by becoming inventors. That … that will not end well, will it?
My Strange Addiction (TLC, 10 p.m.) – From TV Guide: “A 53-year-old woman who has been willingly stung by bees tens of thousands of times; a 47-year-old woman who spends six hours every day grooming her 21-foot long hair that weighs 10 pounds.” Are you thinking what I’m thinking? That’s right. BUDDY COP FILM.
Weed Country (Discovery, 10 p.m.) – Part one of Discovery’s six-part look at the marijuana industry. If my girl Addy isn’t in this I will be sorely disappointed.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Hugh Jackman is on Letterman; Lisa Kudrow and Bonnie Raitt are on Ferguson; Michael Strahan and Miles Teller are on Kimmel; Chelsea Handler and 105-year-old Edith Kirchmayer are on Leno; Don Cheadle, John Oliver, and Ke$ha are on Fallon (oh, and also, KEITH SWEAT SITS IN WITH THE ROOTS); and Snooki, JWOWW, and Ken Marino are on Conan.