Here is a preview for the upcoming season of TLC’s My Crazy Obsession (not to be confused with TLC’s My Strange Addiction, which is a very different show because of REASONS), in which a woman named Chantale talks at length about the 19 rats she keeps at home, treats like children, and kisses on the mouth. At one point she even shoves a rat into her face, inhales deeply, and announces that the rat smells like nachos. This leads me to believe (a) she is awful at making nachos, or (b) she eats nachos with her rat-children, allows them to get covered in nacho essence, and then refuses to bathe them. Both options are sad in their own way, but the latter is more disturbing because, like, geez lady, you can’t have it both ways. They’re either rats and you keep them out of your nachos and let them be filthy, or they’re your kids and you keep them clean. No one wants to be the parent of the smelly kid, you know?
The video is below and it is disturbing as hell. It is also faaaaaaaaaaaake. Fakeyfakefake fake. Not necessarily fake as in “created from whole cloth” (although it could be that too, in which case this lady needs a new agent, pronto, because she kissed a rat more than once), but at the very least it is staged as all hell. The scenes between this lady and her husband — who, the clip claims, put his foot down and made her get an apartment where she and the rats could be as creepy as they want — make The Hills look startlingly genuine by comparison.
Anyway, I’m going to go throw up until I die.