Ever since AMC announced that it’s planning to do spinoffs of both Breaking Bad and The Walking Dead, I have been over here bubbling over with ideas for really, really dumb Mad Men spinoffs: Roger Sterling retires from advertising and becomes a South Beach private investigator, Sally Draper becomes the Queen Bee of a fancy prep school, Bob Benson changes his name to Chester McFinance and starts running a Ponzi scheme on wealthy retirees (possible crossover with Roger Sterling: Miami Nights, which as of this parenthetical is the name of that first spinoff), and so on and so forth. I’ll stop now because otherwise I might never stop.
But unfortunately, Mad Men showrunner Matthew Weiner has already gone ahead and put a bullet in the head of all my stupid hypothetical fun.
However, Weiner is very convinced that he won’t be following in the footsteps of AMC’s other shows The Walking Dead and Breaking Bad, which are both getting spin-offs on the cable network.
“There’s no chance,” he told THR with a smile. “No judgment against anybody else — but this is it. This is the story. When it’s done, it’s done.” [THR]
Fine. No spinoff. But this means you only have fourteen episodes to feed Pete Campbell to a bear, Weiner. Clock’s ticking. Don’t you dare let me down.
Oh, hey, and in other news, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…
“We’re nowhere yet but I do feel like Dexter is such a core franchise to Showtime,” Nevins told The Hollywood Reporter at a September Paley Center event celebrating the series. “Arguably, Dexter is to Showtime what Spider-Man is to Sony or Batman is to Warner Bros., so I think it’s going to be important for us to keep it alive.” [...]
“We spend a lot of time talking about how we keep the show alive, so it may be a more complicated original idea than just a spinoff,” Nevins said of the potential follow-up, which likely would come from Dexter showrunner Scott Buck, who recently inked a two-year development deal with the network. [THR]
… AHAHAHAHA GIVE THE TREADMILL A SPINOFF. DO IT. I SWEAR TO GOD I’LL WATCH. I’M NOT EVEN JOKING. “COMING THIS FALL ON SHOWTIME, YOUR TARGET HEART RATE IS ZERO. MURDER TREADMILL, STARRING A TREADMILL.” GIVE ME THAT SHOW. I’M BEGGING YOU.