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What We Learned From This Week’s ‘Dam’ Good Episode Of ‘Sons Of Anarchy’

By / 10.16.13

Her Ability to Drain Semen from the Front Seat of a Parked Car Far Exceeded Her Ability to Raise a Boy of Questionable Orientation — And YES! Venus Van Dam returned. Was there any point to the ongoing narrative in his return? DOES IT MATTER? It’s Walton Goggins, people. If he wants come in and cry on Gemma’s shoulder without servicing the plot, HE CAN DO THAT ALL DAY AND NIGHT. I suppose that, by consoling Venus Van Dam, Gemma may have earned a favor, which may or may not necessitate another return. Whatever. All that matters is, VENUS VAN DAM.

He is a pretty woman. I couldn’t stop staring at his cleavage. Should I not have said that out loud? Also, GIVE THIS MAN THE GUEST STAR EMMY HE SO RIGHTFULLY DESERVES, DAMNIT.

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SAMCRO’S Future Is in P*ssy Not Bullets — The real point of last night’s episode was to shape the conflict between the Sons and the IRA. Jax agreed to the IRA’s demands: He’ll let Clay run guns for the IRA, and he’ll help transition Clay into the position, in exchange for a peace. Of course, he didn’t mean it. He and Clay are now allies, which is weird: Jax is using Clay to get inside the inner circle with the Irish. More importantly, Jax met with the leaders of the other chapters, and they all agreed to get out of guns and go legit. The IRA is going to be super pissed, and judging from a few looks, the supreme leaders over in the IRA aren’t particularly happy with Galen O’Shay, either.

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BOBBY’S BACK — And, folks, is really what this season needed the most: The return of Bobby, who wasn’t actually creating a Nomad chapter, but recruiting new guys for this season. I get that sense, however, that that wasn’t Kurt Sutter’s original plan, since Hopper — Shameless‘ Steve Howey — apparently had to bail, having been spooked by the explosion. I doubt the original plan was to bring in Steve Howey for three or four scenes in which he nodded a couple of times. But I’ll take this, anyway, because it means Bobby is back in the club, where he belongs. Bonus: He brought with him three new members who, let’s just admit, will probably be dead by the end of the season.

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If You’re Going to Go Outlaw, Boys, Use Half a Brain. You’re Making Us All Look Bad — The highlight of last night’s episode, of course, was the side diversion, which saw the Sons actually having a good time beating up some dirty cops and forcing them to apologize to each individual member. That was great: The whole thing, from the motorcycle chase — which saw Rat Boy and Juice worked together to thwart the cops — to Tig’s line (“I’ve seen Smokey & The Bandit a hundred times. Love that movie”) to Happy ringing that bell, to Jax’s grin when he elbowed one cop, and said to the other, “Do you think I’m kidding?” Just terrific.

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“I’m sorry for my behavior today. I’m sorry for my behavior today. I’m sorry for my behavior today.”

Now, THAT was old-school, classic SoA.

Three more things: 1) Juice’s balls are regenerating; 2) It’s time to patch in Rat Boy IMMEDIATELY, and 3) am I the only one that has a tiny suspicion that Chibbs may be working with the Irish?

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What We Learned From This Week’s ‘Dam’ Good Episode Of ‘Sons Of Anarchy’

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