Your Mother Can Rest Easy, Adam Levine Is Officially People’s ‘Sexiest Man Alive.’

By: 11.19.13

In Earth shattering news we all speculated about over the weekend, Adam Levine has officially been named People’s sexiest man alive. They announced the selection on ‘The Voice” in what can only be described as some of the greatest cross-media promotion we have ever seen as a race.

Sure, some might feel that picking Adam Levine is “the human equivalent of of testing positive for chlamydia,”but we here at Uproxx are happy to hear the news and congratulate Adam on his selection. I can only hope he enjoys his  Jet Blue sponsored week long sex vacation across the United States, his basket of fine lotions and lathers from Bath & Body Works and his admittance into the exclusive People Magazine graveyard of past sexiest men winners. I’m pretty sure Patrick Swayze and JFK Jr. are quite lonely, so hurry and croak.

Via gettyimages / People Magazine Vine

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