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What’s On Tonight: ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’, Christmas Trees And Christmas Hookers

By / 12.19.13

Charlie Brown Christmas

A Charlie Brown Christmas (ABC, 8 p.m.) — Is A Charlie Brown Christmas the most-watched special in TV history? It’s been on every year since 1965, and gets fairly decent ratings every time. It’s certainly more popular than Nestor, the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey, which negative-nine people have seen.

The X Factor (Fox, 8 p.m.) — Season finale. OK.

The Returned (Sundance, 9 p.m.) — Season finale. NOT OK.

Anger Management (FX, 9:30 p.m.) — In “Charlie and the Christmas Hooker,” Charlie’s Christmas plans are derailed when Ed steals the baby Jesus from a Latino church, because f*ck you, that’s why.

Eagleheart (Adult Swim, 12 a.m.) — The only description available for tonight’s episode: its title, “Joe.” You had me at “J-,” Eagleheart.

NTSF:SD:SUV (Adult Swim, 12:30 a.m.) — It’s the NTSF Christmas special. Kate Mulgrew has received stellar reviews for her work on Orange Is the New Black, rightly so, but let’s not forget she’s great on NTSF, too. If not for her, I wouldn’t know that back in the day, face swaps were done with staples, the face of a drifter, and gumption.

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Steve Carell on Letterman; Sylvester Stallone and Judd Apatow on Leno; Adam Scott and “Ron Burgundy” with Christopher Cross on Kimmel; Christina Applegate on Conan; Jonah Hill on Stewart; and Ben Stiller on Colbert.


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