Archer (FX, 10 p.m.) — DAAAANNNNNNNNNGGGGGEEEEEERRRRRR ZZZZZOOOONNNNNNEEEEE.
How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8 p.m.) — Last week’s episode was probably the best of the season (Weekend at Barney’s!). Hopefully that’s a sign of good things to come as the show enters its final month.
Bates Motel (A&E, 9 p.m.) — Season premiere. The actress who played Miss Watson won’t be watching.
The Following (Fox, 9 p.m.) — “Joe, Mandy and Emma realize everything isn’t what it seems at their new hideout.” If they had realized that earlier, they wouldn’t have needed a hideout spot.
Fashion Police (E!, 9:30 p.m.) — E! sucks out the final drop of life from the Oscars.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Zach Braff on Letterman; Tina Fey and Randy Newman on Fallon; Rob Ford and Gonzo on Kimmel; Meredith Vieira and Josh Radnor on Ferguson; Brian Williams, Naomi Campbell, and the Hold Steady on Meyers; Malin Akerman and Jim Jefferies on Conan; Seth MacFarlane on Stewart; and Caitlin Flanagan on Colbert.