Suits (USA, 9 p.m.) — Season premiere. Suits up, put your Suits on, etc. etc. etc.
Sirens (USA, 10 p.m.) — Series premiere. Denis Leary adapted this British series about narcissistic EMTs who can’t save themselves…but CAN save their patients. You see, it’s ironic, or something.
Portlandia (IFC, 10 p.m.) — I’m honestly shocked it’s taken Portlandia this long to get around to calling an episode “Ecoterrorists.” (With Olivia Wilde!)
Review (10 p.m.) — Series premiere. What Danger said.
Scandal (ABC, 10 p.m.) — “Quinn wants to prove herself.” GOOD LUCK.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Tom Brokaw and Bob Mould on Letterman; Liam Neeson and Lindsay Lohan on Fallon; Aaron Paul on Kimmel; Rosie Perez on Ferguson; Martha Stewart and Lil Jon on Meyers; Kristin Chenoweth and Drive-By Truckers on Conan; Paul Scheer on Holmes; Kimberly Marten on Stewart; and Theaster Gates on Colbert.