Note: Orange is the New Black discussion posts are intended to give a full season perspective, and may contain minor spoilers.
After the past couple of slow and/or depressing episodes, I was starting to worry that season two of Orange is the New Black had peaked mid-season, and that the series wasn’t going to be able to continue with the momentum that it built early on. Thankfully, as we near the finish line, “Take A Break From Your Values” got back on track with a solid, funny episode that even brought a few much needed WTF moments. As Soso’s hunger strike picks up steam and a few followers who take issue with everything from overuse of solitary to the quality of maple syrup in the cafeteria, we learn the backstory of Sister Ingalls, who — as it turns out — is no saint. Well obviously, since she is in prison and all. An idealistic young nun who “fell in with the bad nuns” in the ’60s, Sister Ingalls started out well intentioned until her pride outweighed her desire to do good for the sake of doing good. So while she started the hunger strike for Jimmy and the cruelty of the reprehensible “compassionate release” program, she quickly reverted back to her old “Nun Shall Pass” (most fantastic fake book title ever) ways which got her locked up in the first place — and excommunicated by the Catholic church, as it turns out. Yeeeesh. That might be even more embarrassing than having a fake fiancee.
But enough about that, let’s move onto those WTF moments I mentioned before! First of all, Polly is actually leaving her husband for Larry. For Larry. Larry and Piper I can kind of get, because Piper also has the personality of a sheet of plain notebook paper, but Polly seems like — I don’t know, more discerning? Sure, you could leave your husband for Larry, but you could also leave your husband for a lump of butter or a box of hair or literally anything better than the human-sized flaccid dick that is Larry. Also, this happened which was the greatest thing ever (even if it was a weak punch):
I mean he barely even touched Larry and still sent him careening backwards like he weighed as much as a feather. Stupid Larry. (Side note: Thanks to Burnsy for making this gif for me, who then went and fell down the rabbit hole and then put together this fantastic guide about how much the internet hates Larry Bloom. Here, here.)
As far as the other big developments that happened this episode, Piper found out the hard way why you should really not piss off Fig, and is apparently now being transferred to Virginia. Although I really don’t think that will happen because there’s already too many characters on this show to keep up with without bringing in another entire prison again, so we’ll see how she gets out of that. And finally, we learn that old ladies are about as good as shanking as they are at differentiating the names of their children and grandchildren. This thing with Vee and Red just turned into an all out war.
- Diaz’s whole motivational talk to Daya about how she was raised by a single mom in the barrio and still turned out okay was great. Hey dumbasses, you’re both in prison — you both suck at being a mother and a daughter.
- I love how Polly’s husband was more upset by the fact that he wasn’t invited to a threesome more than that his wife was leaving him. That’s like some Jason Stackhouse logic right there. Priorities, man.
- Speaking of priorities, since Alex’s life is now apparently in danger it’s now totally cool that she sold Piper down the river. In other news, Piper’s rationale and decision making skills are still as sharp as ever.
- Did anyone else notice that in the scene where Alex is on the phone drinking a glass of wine, immediately after she gets off she reaches into the fridge for a carton of milk (before being interrupted by banging at the door)? What kind of monster mixes wine and milk? Her ass should go back to jail for that alone.
- How it is possible that Healy too oblivious to notice that Crazy Eyes was very clearly intimidating Poussey from the moment she sat down. Excellent work, Dr. Katz.
- Important: Soso’s influential media connections include a guy named Gus who runs “an anti-logging blog” and Terry who owns a bakery that sells “anti-authoritative cupcakes.” What do anti-authoritative cupcakes taste like, anyway?
- Maybe Boo should have kept that dog around, because now it looks like she’s got even less friends than she has f*cks to give.