Things that happened in last night’s episode of Justified:
- Ava had lunch with Katherine Hale, during which Katherine produced a covered serving platter that was — SURPRISE — filled with lines of high-quality cocaine, and after which the two of them robbed a jewelry store for kicks.
- Raylan and Tim visited Dickie Bennett in prison, again, and Dickie Bennett proceeded to give them the full, unabridged Dickie Bennett, which led to all of them realizing that Dickie had accidentally sold his family’s land to one Loretta McCready, the teenage weed magnate that his mother had basically adopted and was responsible for bringing down the whole Bennett clan.
- Loretta had a meeting with Ty and Avery — two terrifying men who were old enough to be her father and grandfather, respectively — that started with her serving Ty some of Mags Bennett’s famous Apple Pie and ended with her basically telling the both of them (and Raylan, too, for good measure) to go pound sand, because Loretta is awesome.
- Art proved to be proficient at cooking breakfast, as predicted by me in my pitch for a Justified spin-off titled Art’s Place, which is now more plausible than ever.
- Boyd and Wynn enlisted the help of a safecracker — described in the blurb attached to the screener as a “crackpot safecracker,” which I believe may have been relaying a message with its double-up on the word “crack” — played by Jake Busey who whooooops blew himself to kingdom come in front of (and onto) them because he left his cell phone on around the explosives.
What a delightful goddamn hour of television that was. And none of it even gets to the real focus of the episode, which is that Ava is so screwed right now. She’s got Raylan tightening the screws every day to get dirt on Boyd, Katherine asking very pointy questions about how exactly she got released at all, and her one last out — running away to Iceland or wherever with Boyd and a big ol’ sack of money — just went poof at the worst possible time because now Boyd wants to stay in Harlan forever to become a gentleman pot tycoon. She now appears to be down to two options: snitch or die. Or, more likely, snitch and die. Everyone went into the last season looking for Boyd and Raylan to have it out, and instead they went and okie-doked us and made Ava the most important character on the show so far. And it’s been great.
I’ll say this for Justified, and I apologize if the metaphor is entirely too cute given the show’s history: They are not leaving any bullets in the gun here. I am going to miss this show spectacularly when it’s gone.
And now, the highlights:
– KABOOM
– I watched my screener for this episode on Friday night. This led to me (a) giggling like a goof for four full days every time I thought about Jake Busey blowing himself the hell up, and (b) almost exploding myself as I tried to keep it a secret until the episode aired. I’ve been thinking about it a lot and it is almost certainly my favorite character death in the show’s history, and probably one of my favorite in television history. It was just so out of left field. Like, they went to the trouble of introducing him and his snake-charming Hillbilly Margaery Tyrell girlfriend, making it seem like he might become a vital part of the plan to rob Markham, then BOOM. I’d like to find the person who suggested that in the writers’ room and buy him or her breakfast at a restaurant of his or her choosing.
– Fun fact: This represents the second time Boyd and Wynn have had an incompetent boob’s innards splattered all over their faces while they were scheming in a dilapidated old building. Remember Sammy Tonin? Being a crime boss seems awful messy. (See also.)
– We are learning so much about Wynn Duffy this season. First, it was the thing where he keeps a personal tanning bed in his hotel room, and now he’s regaling us with stories about his days as a Hawaiian teenage surfing phenom. It’s like they’re toying with us with these potential spin-offs. Wynn Duffy: Beach Bum. Prequel, sequel, whatever. Just give it to me.
– “A man’s wit is never lost on me, Wynn Duffy.”
– Speaking of learning things about people. Tim’s ideal death — which he blurted out immediately and without an iota of doubt — involves getting choked out by Sigourney Weaver’s thighs. Sigourney Weaver is 65 years old, making her easily old enough to be his mother. A psychologist could write an entire book on Tim. Maybe two. He’s fascinating, and I love him. I’m starting to think I’d be sadder about him getting killed off than any other character on the show.
– Mary Steenburgen is so wonderful as Katherine Hale. She has this way of saying terrifying, loaded things in a sweet little mouse voice that somehow makes her more menacing than all of the Choo-Choos and bearded henchmen in the world. I can’t believe it took Hollywood this long to make her evil. It was right there in front of our faces all along.
– READER POLL: Mary Steenburgen dramatically opening a covered room service serving tray to reveal pre-cut lines of cocaine on Justified OR Judith Light doing lines of cocaine at a rodeo on Dallas? YOU DECIDE.
– I’m sure there was a more appropriate and relevant takeaway from Raylan’s fable about killing a snake you come across while taking out the trash, but the lesson I learned from it is “Don’t take out the trash, there are snakes outside.”
– Raylan to Dickie Bennett, with a phrase worth jotting down in a notebook for later use: “Search your soul, numbnuts.”
– Man oh man, Sam Elliott and Timothy Olyphant threatening each other at a dinner table was some good-ass watching. The mustache thing is still weirding me out, though. My new theory is that Sam Elliott’s upper lip elongated from years of carrying around about two pounds of thick, luxurious whiskers. I will figure this out eventually, I swear.
Okay, all done. Another really great episode in what is shaping up to be an excellent final season. Buckle in, y’all.
