One of my favorite Twitter feeds is TVNetworkNotes, which collects and tweets actual network notes from executives. They are ridiculous. A few years ago, I collected some of the very best of these network notes, but, in the intervening years, network executives obviously did not cease to be dumb. Therefore, I bring you the best notes from network executives over the last two years. Again, I recommend that you follow Network Notes, so you can see some of the things being suggested to the creatives who run the shows we watch. It’s insane how tone deaf the people who run the television industry can often be.
“Is there any way we can make the Make-A-Wish recipient look less disabled? If not, can we subtitle him?” – Animal Planet
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) March 25, 2015
“The joke isn’t mean-spirited enough. Put in another rape joke in its place.” – Comedy Central
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) March 20, 2015
“Please put a life vest on the frog. Trust us. We already went through this with the duck.” – ABC Family
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) February 4, 2015
“Do not allow yourself to be burdened by truth or historical accuracy.” – H2
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) January 16, 2015
“Don’t cast a black actor as the mall Santa Claus. Many of our viewers believe in Santa and he is white.” – YTV
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) December 24, 2014
(show has “Holiday” in the title) "I'd like to clarify more that it's Christmas. We need to make it clear." – Oxygen
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) December 17, 2014
“This show needs to make sense to someone who just looked up from taking a bong hit.” – TruTV
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) November 6, 2014
(re: The Walking Dead pilot) “This is awesome. I really love it. Does it have to have zombies in it?” – NBC
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) October 15, 2014
“Not sure viewers realize that most fish breathe underwater, so perhaps we can make that really clear.” – Discovery
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) September 19, 2014
“We don’t understand what a MacGuffin is or how it works. It seems unimportant to the plot.” – IFC
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) September 9, 2014
“Saying ‘fuck’ isn’t funny but bleeping it out is funny. Do you get it?” – MTV
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) September 3, 2014
“Please change the word ‘smells’ to ‘stinks’. ‘Smells’ is too childish.” – Disney
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) July 7, 2014
“Can we make this picture of Victoria Beckham look like a robot hooker bullfighter?” – E!
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) July 1, 2014
“A political thriller about a whistleblower? How is blowing on a whistle exciting? Is that all they do?” – FOX
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) May 23, 2014
“This dolphin would never say that.” – NBC
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) May 12, 2014
“It’s too ‘History’ for us.” – History
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) May 7, 2014
“Need a bigger sting after anal sex.” – Oxygen
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) June 3, 2014
"Honkey is the N-word for white people. Can you please only say it once?" –Fox
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) April 15, 2014
“Do not use the word ‘Moron’. You will offend all the morons in the audience. See list of approved alternatives.” – NBC
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) March 14, 2014
(After b-roll of an otter) “We’ve already seen the beaver.” – SyFy
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) April 23, 2015
“This sketch seems a little hacky. Can we have him pants the guy?” – TruTV
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) April 8, 2015
“I had trouble relating to the characters as they were all of above-average intelligence.” – BBC
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) February 19, 2014
"No, let's not use Bruce Springsteen, he's washed up." – NBC
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) January 24, 2014
(After a girl goes through heavy chemo) “Is there a way to make this scene a little sexier?” – ABC Family
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) January 10, 2014
"It's too funny. People won't laugh at it." – CBC
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) November 20, 2013
Source: TV Network Notes
