The James Bond movie series has been around for more than 50 years, so as the generations of superspy fans shift, their favorite Bond sticks with them. I’ll forever be a Pierce Brosnan-Bond guy. Not because I want to, but because that’s how I’ll forever be programmed. It’s all very Freudian. I can objectively say that Sean Connery and Daniel Craig are better Bonds than Pierce, but GoldenEye has a special place in my heart because I also love four-player splitscreen games.
But when it comes to reviewing the Bond movies, it’s a bit trickier. The worst Bond movies are sometimes fun to watch, and there’s a couple Sean Connery and Craig outings worth skipping. Let’s face reality — it’s almost impossible to create a system with which to rate the Bond films. There’s too many of them and emotions can run too high.
Thankfully, Archer and Entertainment Weekly teamed up to down a couple scotches and review every Bond movie. The video is 5 minutes long and covers almost all the films, but a few key ones are left out.
“Bond must stop a presumed dead MI6 agent from stealing money from the Bank of England via wire transfers before erasing their bank records. So non-confrontational. So British.”
LIKE: “Bond steals a tank and plows through St. Petersburg. Then again, who hasn’t?”
DISLIKE: “Good news for you synthesizer music lovers out there: it’s in pretty much every scene.”
“Bond must defeat a weapons dealer by playing the world’s longest game of poker.”
LIKE: “I drank six Tom Collins and took an hour long nap. And I really needed that.”
DISLIKE: “As a secret agent, you learn to get in and out quickly, and that’s something this director clearly did not do while directing these scenes. Sorry. Gin makes me grouchy.”
You can read the full list of reviews at Entertainment Weekly.