DINOSHARK.

02.17.10 8 years ago 19 Comments

Fresh off the news that Syfy and B-movie king Roger Corman were collaborating on Sharktopus comes word that two have teamed up for another completely preposterous yet undeniably badass monster mash-up movie: Dinoshark. The Live Feed has the hilarious details:

“Global warming causes the glaciers to break apart,” Corman explains. “We start the picture with real beautiful shots of the glaciers falling into the ocean. The unborn egg of the Dinoshark that has been frozen for millions of years is released.”

“Dinoshark,” which debuts March 13, is a follow-up of sorts to Corman’s “Dinocroc.” Corman originally thought to do “Dinocroc 2,” but Syfy executives discovered that, unlike theatrical audiences, TV movie audiences respond better to new-but-similar ideas more than direct sequels.

The network also came up with the pre-tested title “Sharktopus!” though the concept presented the filmmaker with a challenge. Corman might make creature features, but he wants them to be at least somewhat believable.

I mean, it’s entirely plausible that a shark-dinosaur hybrid egg was preserved in a glacier for several million years, but c’mon, a killer fish/cephalopod hybrid? Can we PLEASE try to respect Mr. Corman’s artistic integrity?

“‘Sharktopus!’ is more difficult because you can imagine a prehistorical crocodile like the Dinocroc, but there’s no such thing as prehistoric half-shark, half-octopus,” Corman said. “I tried to figure out how to do this.”

The solution? The U.S. Navy has commissioned a group called Blue Water to genetically engineer a half-shark, half-octopus to help combat Somali pirate ships. Then things go wrong.

I mean, sure, we could release the dinosharks to take care of the sharktopus problem, but then we’re just gonna have a dinoshark problem. So then we release the bearsharktopuses to take care of the dinosharks, but the bearsharktopuses are worse because they can kill on land and in the sea. It’s your classic Mothra-Godzilla conundrum.

By the way, is it possible to rent space in Roger Corman’s brain? I wanna have my next birthday party there.

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