‘Game Of Thrones’ Death Watch: Things Are About To Get Very Real

08.30.17 4 months ago 15 Comments

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The Game of Thrones Death Watch is a weekly roundup of who died and who looks like they might be headed for death, written by me, a person who has not read the books and will go a long, long way to make a very stupid joke. This is what we’re doing here. This is not science. Please do not yell at me.

Season 7, Episode 7 – “The Dragon and the Wolf”

Who Died This Week?

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Littlefinger

Be honest, you thought — maybe just for a second — that Littlefinger was going to wiggle out of that death sentence. He has such a history of wiggling, and of having a trump card up his sleeve, that a tiny part of me was waiting for a second twist, after the first one where Sansa okie-doked the room on the treason charge. (If ever a moment of prestige television called for a record scratch…) But no, the Great Weasel of Westeros had finally run out of allies and backroom maneuvers. And some would say he had also run out of usefulness, plotwise. Both will get you killed pretty quick on this show. Either way, rest in peace, you duplicitous cockroach.

(Duplicitous Cockroach… good name for a craft beer.)

The whole thing did come together a bit weirdly. I get the need for the fakeout because surprising him with his death sentence took away any real chance he had of avoiding it, but man, Bran really needs to be more forthcoming with all this information he has, right? Like, this all could have been nipped in the bud weeks ago if he just gave Sansa a heads up. (“Hey, just FYI, here’s a long list of reasons to kill that guy who keeps sneaking around.”) And he knew about Jon’s parentage all season, basically, but didn’t think to tell anyone until after the dude slept with his own aunt. Come on, guy. Spill the beans!

The one wight and maybe the guy who tried to knee Theon in the groin?

I’m not sure how to categorize either of these, since the wight was already kind of dead before they burned him in the pit and Theon’s beating might have stopped somewhere between “face mangling” and “homicide,” so instead of making a declarative statement about either situation I’ll just tell you that when the guy kneed Theon where his junk used to be I had an immediate “THAT’S MY PURSE!” King of the Hill flashback.

A bunch of people at the WaWHOOOAAA ICE DRAGON

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Oh man. A lot of nameless people got taken out by the blue-fire-breathing undead dragon. So many. And they were people I’m supposed to be rooting for. They were defending the Wall. They were the first line of defense to keep Westeros safe. Tormund was up there. Tormund. I love Tormund. I might shed real tears if/when he does officially die, and even if he didn’t in this specific moment, things do not look good for him going forward, what with the zombie army and zombie giants and zombie dragon currently charging through the territory he occupied. It is, to put a finer point on it, a problem.

And yet, when the dragon swooped into frame with the Night King on his back, and what looked almost like a blue laser came shooting out of his face, I found myself giggling with joy. Maybe it was more of a cackle. I don’t know. I’m very conflicted on this. I have much to think about between seasons.

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