On Tuesday, Attorney General Jeff Sessions made a closed-door speech to the Alliance Defending Freedom, a group that the Southern Poverty Law Center designated as an “anti-LGBT hate group.”
Unfortunately, and shockingly, the Department of Justice has refused to comment or release what Sessions said to the Alliance Defending Freedom, which the SPLC described as: “specializing in supporting the recriminalization of homosexuality abroad, ending same-sex marriage and generally making life as difficult as possible for LGBT communities in the U.S. and internationally.” But thankfully, “Sessions” made an appearance on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert to clear things up.
Obviously, it wasn’t the real Jeff Sessions. It was a delicious Keebler Elf cookie (it’s the obvious joke, but it’s got legs). Here’s part of what “Sessions” said:
“I do declare I am positively flabbergasted by the amount of homosexualizin’ I see in our country these dark days. We must return to our culture God intended. Men marrying women, having marital relations just for reproduction lights off socks on. Finishing with a firm handshake.”
Hopefully, this lights a small fire under someone at the DoJ, because they need to stop missing deadlines and turn over documents regarding Sessions’ meetings with Russians. Sessions is a busy guy, though, meeting with hate groups, hosting parties with Russians…