Meet the World Masturbation Champion, and the Rest of the Morning Links

Japan is just the best. Mostly SFW video below.

Prometheus Trailer Leaks Early, Michael Fassbender Has a Flashlight — The second half of the headline could have read “Michael Fassbender Literally Talks Out of His Butt, Ace Ventura-Style” and I’d still be excited for this movie. Actually, the butt thing isn’t such a bad idea. (Gamma Squad)

No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No — I can feel Burnsy’s rage about Nacho sticking his corn chip in Kate Upton’s melted cheese from here. (With Leather)

Gwar Reviews War Horse — On Gwar’s Wikipedia page, they’re labeled as a “comedy rock” band, alongside genre-mates Weird Al and the guy who sang “Purple People Eater.” (FilmDrunk)

“The Other Side” – Review of the Roots’ undun — In a word: awesome. (The Smoking Section)

The 20 Most Important GIFs of 2011 — I looked at the Ron Swanson Droste Effect one for about five minutes last night, yet it felt like an eternity. When I came to, I was surrounded by ALL the bacon and eggs. (Uproxx)

Louis C.K. Fan Art Worthy of Hanging Above Your Toilet — But where will my Dane Cook art go? (Uproxx)

Hollywood’s Hottest Jews: Some People Are Just a Little More “Chosen” Than Others — Lizzy Caplan can mitzvah with me any time. (It doesn’t have to make sense to work.) (Pajiba)

Debate of the Day: The Hobbit Trailer — Your opinion? I thought it looked a little boring and, to a fault, EXACTLY like the first three films, which is a shame, because The Hobbit is the breeziest Lord of the Rings book (and my favorite). Casting Martin Freeman was perfect, though. (Unreality)

“The Final Countdown” — The fantastic “Saved by the Bell” Tumblr LOLSlater will be closing its doors next week, and our own Danger Guerrero will be contributing to a list of top moments from the show, and a giant wrap-up mailbag. Excellent use of his law degree. (LOLSlater)

(Reddit)

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