If you’re not familiar with Patty Stanger, that’s because she’s got a reality TV show on Bravo. A quick summary: She fixes up rich men suffering from severe personality flaws with pretty women who like money.
This apparently qualifies her to weigh in on celebrity relationships for People. We say “apparently” due to the fact that Stanger argues that it was Amy Poehler making bank and being awesome that led to her split from Will Arnett, who is a resentful jobless hobo, obviously.
According to Stanger, Poehler “outearning” Arnett was a huge mistake:
Will is clearly successful – and I’m a huge fan of Up All Night – but Amy is undeniably the more well known and successful of the two. I can’t help but wonder if that contributed to their divorce. Being more successful than your man can weigh heavy on a relationship.
Stanger goes on to argue that all men want to earn more than their wives because all men are stuck in the Stone Age because evolutionary psychology. Also their friends will make fun of them, because we all go around telling everybody the exact details of our finances, and we all know what raging conservatives Tina Fey and David Cross are. And also Amy Poehler apparently was working too hard.
In other words, they broke up because Will Arnett and Amy Poehler were secretly acting out The King of Queens inside Patty Stanger’s brain.
Just to review, Arnett had a small role in Men In Black III; is a lead in Up All Night, which just got renewed for a second season; and was a cast member in The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret. We’ve also heard rumors he’s currently working on a limited series, something about real estate or something. And 2012 isn’t even over yet.
We’re so glad that somebody who admits she doesn’t know these people was happy to pick sides and tell somebody that their no doubt emotionally trying divorce is entirely their fault. Far be it from us not to express how this makes us feel in gif form: