Rust Cohle Of ‘True Detective’ Applies His Pessimism To Classic Pick-Up Lines

Entertainment Editor
03.06.14 4 Comments
Rust Cohle Of True Detective Applies His Pessimism To Classic Pick-Up Lines

HBO

We’ve been unreservedly enjoying Oscar-winner Matthew McConaughey’s portrayal of the nihilistic Rust Cohle on HBO’s True Detective. His delightful pessimism has already inspired numerous mashups, a rap lyric image macro series, and the Rust Cohle “Hey Girl” Tumblr.

Now Rust Cohle’s unflinchingly bleak worldview is being applied to something that fills us with equal amounts of existential dread: pick-up artists. Just in time for the season finale this weekend, Someecards has whipped up a batch of Rust Cohle pick-up lines.

Each one starts with the first half of a hackneyed pick-up line, but then things escalate quickly. After all, this is the same guy who said, “I think the honorable thing for our species to do is to deny our programming. Stop reproducing, walk hand in hand into extinction — one last midnight, brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal.”

So romantic.

Check out our favorite six Rust Cohle pick-up lines below, courtesy of Someecards. Thanks to Unreality for the assist.

Check out the rest at Someecards.

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When not writing for Uproxx, Caleb likes to volunteer at the legless cat shelter and photoshop the Babadook into all of his family photos. He once resolved the question “To be or not to be?” through the clever use of General Semantics. Your mom thinks you could be more like him if you only applied yourself.

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