You may think that you want to see the trailer for Lifetime’s adaptation of V.C. Andrews’ incest drama Flowers in the Attic because little Sally Draper (Kiernan Shipka) makes out with her brother (Dylan Bruce). Or you may even think that you want to see the trailer because Heather Graham is kind of a terrible actress (not that there’s anything wrong with that), who puts her terribleness on full display in the trailer.
But no: The real reason to watch the trailer for Flowers in the Attic is because of Ellen Burstyn, who is going to do for Lifetime what Jessica Lange has done for American Horror Story: She is going to rip the scenery off the walls with her teeth while America spanks her ass and she yells for more. In other words, she’s going to class the place up. And when she wins accepts her Emmy award, she’s going to beat the presenter with it, and she’s going to deliver her speech with a bloody snarl while kicking the presenter under the podium. “Thank you, Emmy voters, for giving me the award I so richly deserve, because if you hadn’t, I would’ve killed every single one of you in your sleep. No go f**k yourselves.”
Ellen Burstyn is the best.
Here’s the trailer. Soak it up.