With just six days left to go before the general election, rivals Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are hard at work trying not to produce any more destructive gaffes or bombshells potential voters may interpret as damning. Too bad the former’s ongoing email scandal (with a new dose of Anthony Weiner) and the latter’s, erm, everything show no signs of stopping anytime soon. Hence why Late Night host Seth Meyers offered viewers yet another rousing, Trump-centric edition of his program’s “A Closer Look” segment. The subject? What the real estate mogul’s many mishaps on the campaign trail have revealed about his true nature.
“This long campaign has unearthed for public view all kinds of deeply unflattering information about Trump’s business record,” says Meyers, highlighting a recent New York Times report about Trump taking advantage of a now illegal tax maneuver. “I have a feeling if Trump becomes president a lot of laws are going to be passed to outlaw his behavior. For example, Congress is going to have to pass a bill making it illegal to force female senators to wear a sash with the state their from.”
One of Meyers’ favorite recent stories about the real Trump came from a New York Magazine article about the campaign’s final days, specifically, the quote from campaign manager Kellyanne Conway about “[going] on TV” to communicate with her boss (since in-person meetings apparently don’t work). Or as the talk show comedian rephrased it, “They have to go on TV and then make Trump watch it to communicate with him. Which explains this recent episode of Dora the Explorer.”
Cue a Late Night clip of a dubbed-over episode of the popular Nickelodeon cartoon show in which Dora instructs the audience (i.e. Trump) to “stay on message,” “stop tweeting at three in the morning,” and begs not to be deported — in English and Spanish. “Even by his own campaign’s account,” Meyers jokes, “Trump is a child who has to be manipulated to listen to his aides.”
Please hurry, Sweet Meteor O’Death.