Do You Think The Sonic Guys Are Rich?

11.11.16 3 weeks ago 10 Comments

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You know those questions that claw their way into your brain and won’t come out no matter what type of coaxing or heavy machinery you use? Ones like “Why don’t we just use soup spoons for everything, since they’re bigger and deeper and more mouth-shaped?” or maybe “Do we really need all these different kinds of bugs?” Well, I have one that’s bothered me for years, that I Google every few months hoping for a resolution, but the answer to which remains maddeningly elusive. And now I’m going to share it with you: How much do you think the guys from the Sonic commercials have made from the series?

I know this is a rude question. My parents taught me things that are and are not appropriate to discuss in public, with the latter category including questions about people’s personal finances. It’s not polite and it’s none of my business even by the most liberal interpretation of what “my business” entails (maybe if I owned stock in Sonic, or whichever multinational tater tot conglomerate owns Sonic?), but Oh my God I have to know someone tell me already.

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