That’s It? 10 Things We Learned From The Seventh Season Finale Of ‘Dexter’

By: 12.17.12  •  73 Comments

For all the complaints I’ve made about Sons of Anarchy over the past season, the one thing I can say about Kurt Sutter’s show that I cannot say about Showtime’s Dexter is that at least Sons of Anarchy is sh*tballs entertaining. Compared to the last half of the seventh season of Dexter, Sons of Anarchy is the pristine Harley to Dexter’s broken-down Jalopy.

Dexter is a show that I once loved. It was easily one of my favorite dramas, and the return of Doakes in last night’s season finale reminded me of what Dexter is so badly missing: A better sense of humor. The funniest thing about last night’s seventh season finale was the episode title, “Surprise Motherf***ker.” Other than that, it was a lackluster conclusion to a season that started off so promising, all the more disappointing considering the WALLOPING fantastic season finale to Homeland last night.

Let’s get to the breakdown.

1. Hannah Admits to the Poisoning — All season long, I’ve been trying to predict where the Dexter twists would arrive, and the biggest problem with my predictions is expecting a twist. I thought for sure that Debra had poisoned herself in order to frame Hannah, and I was terribly disappointed to find out that it was as straightforward as it was. It’s just as Dexter surmised. Why make that so obvious? If Debra had poisoned herself, the episode could’ve continued on more or less the same track, but we’d have more respect for Debra.

2. Dexter Still Hearts Hannah — The best emotional notes in last night’s episode were probably hit during the prison conversation between Hannah and Dexter, where Dexter conceded that he was still madly in love with Hannah, and if there was any way to protect her sister, he and Hannah would still be together. “I can never trust you, and you can never trust me. We both knew it would come to this, one of us dead or behind bars.” A more interesting twist might have been to have Dexter behind the bars, which is where I thought the episode was headed at one point: With Dexter in jail, and Debra left to do his dirty work.

3. Hannah Escapes — Hannah’s fizzling storyline may have been the most disappointing part of last night’s episode, but also the most promising. Besides Ray Stevenson’s character, Yvonne Strahovski has been the highlight of season seven (due in no small part to the fact that she is one of the hottest women on television), but to see her use Arline to retrieve some medication, which gave her a seizure, which allowed her to escape and … basically do nothing … was terribly anticlimactic. That’s it?She didn’t play at all into the overall storyline between Debra and Dexter in the end. She left a plant on Dexter’s doorstep, and she just left. She’s in the wind. The good news, at least, is that she could, and probably will, return next season. Bye for now, Yvonne.

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