The Bird Is The Word: Angel Gets Fired From The X-Men On ‘The Pete Holmes Show’

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Entertainment Editor
11.13.13 21 Comments

Pete Holmes Fires Angel From The X-Men

Here’s the newest “Ex-Men” sketch from The Pete Holmes Show, in which Pete Holmes stars as Professor X, firing the least valuable players from the X-Men with profanity-laced explanations of exactly why they suck. We already watched him tell Wolverine to get a journal and call Gambit garbage without his cards.

Now he’s firing Angel for being a bird impersonating an Abercrombie model. Abercrombie and Finch? Sorry.

It starts out strong:

“I’m going over your file here, and there seems to be something missing. I mean, what are your powers again?”

“I fly.”

“I know you fly, but what else?”

“That’s it.”

[chortles, slaps desk] “Well, you’re f–king fired.”

Then it just gets better, with Holmes making a stream of belittling bird jokes, my favorite one being, “Would you do me one small favor, bird? When you get your worthless ass out of my office, would you resist the urge to sh-t on my car? I just hate it when your people sh-t on my car.”

Enjoy.

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When not writing for Uproxx, Caleb likes to volunteer at the legless cat shelter and photoshop the Babadook into all of his family photos. He once resolved the question “To be or not to be?” through the clever use of General Semantics. Your mom thinks you could be more like him if you only applied yourself.

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