It’s no secret that TLC is a factory that grinds up little people, families with too many children, and assorted freaks into a mind-numbing gruel that satisfies people with slow-firing synapses in their cerebral cortex. But I always figured that TLC’s programming was some sort of evil master plan concocted by a nefarious billionaire wearing an eye patch and petting a fluffy white cat in a distant castle. As it turns out, TLC is programming for idiots, by idiots. Or possibly trained seals. Check out this casting call for the recently renewed “Strange Addictions.”
Are you or someone you know a “NEVER NUDE?”
Do you or someone you know struggle with taking off clothing?
Do you have to wear clothing 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? Is it impossible for you to shower completely in the nude? Do you avoid going to the doctor or the gym to avoid nudity? Are you addicted to clothing and refuse to be with out it even when you’re alone? Is being a “NEVER NUDE” seriously impacting your relationships and lifestyle?
Are you a fictional character from a television show? Do you have an affliction that was invented by comedy writers? Are you married to Lindsay Bluth but secretly gay? If so, send us a picture of yourself and a bucket of mackerel for us to eat when we’re done balancing balls on our noses. ARF! ARF! ARF!