Happy Endings (ABC, Friday 8 p.m.) — Now that USA Network is interesting in picking up Happy Endings should ABC cancel it, we can put the threat of losing the show out of our minds and invest ourselves into it again, not as concerned with getting our heart broken. Tonight’s double-shot of Happy Endings offers a few good reasons to tune in: The Steak Me Home truck is stolen; Max will FINALLY get a haircut; and Andy Richter will appear in the second episode, which revolves around Penny’s impending nuptials (will we end the third season in a row with a wedding?)
Doctor Who (BBC America, Saturday 8 p.m.) — This weekend’s episode of Doctor Who, “The Rings of Akhaten,” was written by Niel Cross, the guy behind Luther, which is awesome and terrifying. I don’t know that Doctor Who can withstand the level of bleakness Cross brings to Luther.
Orphan Black (BBC America, Saturday 9 p.m.) — If you didn’t catch last week’s episode, find it and catch up. This loks like a great Alias-like show with clones, a shoestring budget, and more sex than you’d expect from a show that comes on after Doctor Who (NOT COMPLAINING).
Saturday Night Live (NBC, 11:30 p.m.) — Melissa McCarthy, one of last year’s best guest hosts, returns, and let’s see if she goes for broke like she did last season. The woman has zero shame, and I love that about her.
Mad Men (AMC, Sunday 9 p.m.) — I can’t believe the Mad Men premiere is only two days away, and unless you’ve read critic’s reviews (DON’T READ CRITIC’S REVIEWS), you don’t know anything about the premiere. It makes me all the more excited for it.
Game of Thrones (HBO, Sunday 9 p.m.) — I love this episode for introducing the Queen of Thorns, who is basically the Game of Thrones‘ Dowager Countess. She is a deliciously bitchy old woman.
Shameless (Showtime, Sunday 9 p.m.) — I know you already have enough on your plate at 9 p.m., but this is the season finale of the best show no one really talks about. WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN TO STEVE?
Vikings (History, Sunday 10 p.m.) — Since there’s almost nothing good on Monday nights, and everything good on Sunday nights, Vikings has, through the magic of my DVR, become my favorite Monday night show.