I Found the Saddest Place on Earth

Chances are, if more than a handful of people like something, there’s a convention for it. There’s Comic-Con for geeks. PaleyFest for TV fans. DragonCon for geeks who can’t afford Comic-Con. Lower down the social totem pole are conventions for society’s fringe elements, like furries. I also recall a chapter in Neil Gaiman’s Sandman that takes place at a an expo for serial killers. And for members of society who are even more debased and vile than serial killers, there’s Reality Rocks, a convention for fans of reality television.

Look upon this press release, ye Mighty, and despair:

Warner Horizon Television will be bringing some of America’s favorite reality shows, including The BachelorThe Bachelorette and Randy Jackson Presents America’s Best Dance Crew, to the inaugural Reality Rocks Expo, the ultimate reality TV experience, about the fans, for the fans and by the fans, April 9-10, 2011.  These stars join an already star-studded cast of reality TV favorites, including previously announced Nick Cannon, Adrianne Curry, Christopher Knight, Audrina Patridge, Eric Roberts, Karina Smirnoff and previous contestants and cast members from American IdolKeeping Up with the Kardashians, Project Runway, The Real WorldSurvivor, The Amazing RaceSo You Think You Can Dance, RuPaul’s Drag Race, and top shows from Food Network, Cooking Channel and Bravo.

Wow, Nick Cannon AND Christopher Knight?!!?!? Why, the only way this could possibly get better is if Jack Osbourne presented an award to the creator of “The Bachelor”!

On Saturday evening, all stars will attend the star-studded Reality Rocks Fan Awards, honoring fans’ favorite reality TV personalities and series, where Bachelor franchise creator and executive producer Mike Fleiss will be presented with the Reality Rocks Humanitarian Award… Fleiss recently directed, along with Mike Piscitelli, the documentary God Bless Ozzy Osbourne, which will premiere at the Tribeca Film Festival on April 24th. Jack Osbourne, who served as producer of the documentary, will present the Humanitarian Award to Fleiss.

If you really want to punish yourself, click through to the next page for the full list of “stars” scheduled to appear. It’s like reading a Who’s Who of people I’ve never heard of.

NOTE: I originally put Sinbad in the banner picture as a joke about how he could add some “star power” to this joke of a lineup. Then I found out he’s making an appearance on Saturday. Well played, Reality Rocks. Well played.

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