Donovan McNabb. The real macaroni. Dyed hair. Angel-haired pasta. Rastafarian. 20 seconds, that’s all he needed to somehow connect the dots. Yep, Shady is back, finally barging through once again with his good friend and heavyweight lyricist Royce Da 5′ 9″ on their new EP, “Hell: The Sequel.” The reunion of Bad Meets Evil was a long time coming, and whether or not it lived up to the expectations doesn’t really matter. It happened, and now we can’t ever complain like “I don’t understand why they won’t just get back up in the studio.”
Reunions are always fun, and yet they hardly ever live up to their expectations. It’s impossible because we always want more, always figured the good ol’ days were better than good, better than they could’ve ever been.
With the project leaking earlier today, here are 12 reunions I would love to see in the NBA, one for every track/bonus track on the EP.
*** *** ***
1. “Welcome To Hell”
Since Royce drops a reference to Isiah Thomas in the track, we’ll go with a return for Isiah to New York City. Terrible teams be damned, sports are entertainment, and Isiah running the Knicks was pure comedic gold. Hopefully, it happens again.
Via ESPN’s Tom Haberstroh, Isiah spent over $120 million on players from 2005-10 who played just 82 games in a New York uniform; guys like Penny, Eddy Curry, Steve Francis, even Dan Dickau. What’s better than that?
2. “Fastlane”
Since I really have no clue what they are rapping about in this track, I’ll give a reunion request to Ben Gordon and Chicago considering no one really knows what happened to Gordon since leaving the CHI. He went to Detroit and fell off. Pulled a Rachael Leigh Cook after She’s All That on us.
3. “The Reunion”
Shaq and Kobe would be the reunion of all reunions. I can dream.
4. “Above the Law”
This is more of a guilty pleasure than anything else, but to have Zach Randolph don a Blazer jersey again would be amazing. Actually, bring Z-Bo back, hire Damon Stoudamire as an assistant coach, get Rasheed Wallace to reappear from wherever he’s hinding and then bring Mike Dunleavy back in to reside over it all with that forlorn, lost look. Qyntel Woods is available right?
5. “I’m On Everything”
Kendrick Perkins needs to go back to Boston, if for no other reason than so we don’t have to hear that as an excuse for everything. Oh we couldn’t rebound? That’s because ‘Perk is gone. Rondo isn’t having fun? Where’s ‘Perk? Miami is now the class of the East? The Red Sox started off terribly? Boston weather has been really s%$##% lately? Perkins would solve all of that.
6. “A Kiss”
The NBA’s Most Surprising Marriage: Larry Brown and Allen Iverson. No one went back and forth like these two, the needlessly needy superstar spouse stuck with his always-nagging, never satisfied partner. Amazingly, they never really won anything other than an Eastern Conference title that might as well have been a CYO championship because the conference was so atrocious at the time, and yet everyone loved them. They were the story of the league and neither one ever really found a home after the divorce.
Actually, I would settle for simply Iverson and the NBA making up…
7. “Lighters”
Laker fans should be praying right now, pleading that Pau Gasol will come back refocused and energized next year. If he’s content, then any shot at another championship goes out the window. L.A. needs Gasol to reunite with the Gasol from the beginning of last season, back when he was swinging his balls around, knocking defenders out. Someone in L.A. needs to light a fire under his behind. He’s too good to be Boris Diaw.
8. “Take From Me”
What Steve Nash once had with Amar’e was exciting. What he once had with Dirk though was nearly unprecedented. The greatest seven-foot jump shooter ever and one of the most eccentric and uniquely talented passers the game has ever seen, the two best friends were perfect for each other. Then, Mark Cuban went and took the lil’ guy away, basically trading Nash for Erick Dampier.
9. “Loud Noises”
Otis Smith would revive Gilbert Arenas‘ career. He was the father figure, the dude who first gave a wild two guard masquerading as a point guard the chance to cause havoc back in Golden State. Arenas just needs someone to back him. We heard all of this. All they had to do was come together.
Wait what? This reunion already happened and Arenas still looks done? Damn.
10. “Living Proof”
And Hedo Turkoglu coming back to the Magic. Actually never mind, I just mixed up this list with the “Reunions No One Should’ve Had To See” list.
11. “Echo”
I still get angry thinking about the Joe Johnson-to-Atlanta fiasco. You can’t be mad at him; he left for more money and for the chance to be the man in an organization that actually respected him. But damn, Mike D’Antoni was his perfect coach and J.J. was the perfect wing player for him.
And to think this reunion very nearly happened last summer in NYC before Atlanta went all in and got KGB‘d. I take it they never saw “Rounders?”
12. “Writers Block”
Reunite Juwan Howard with the year 1996. Not only would the Heat become unbeatable, but I need some answers. We should go back because I need to watch again to see what made Washington give him $105 million (the first NBA player to sign a contract above $100 mill). Brain blocked?
It’s crazy to think the old man icing his knees even when he isn’t playing was once an All-Star.
What reunion would you most want to see?
Follow Sean on Twitter at @SEANesweeney.
Follow Dime on Twitter at @DimeMag.
Become a fan of Dime Magazine on Facebook HERE.
