Kenan Thompson brought LaVar Ball back to SNL in honor of the NBA Playoffs kicking off this weekend. The only problem is his “son,” Lonzo Ball, didn’t make the cut since the Lakers fell short. That doesn’t mean LaVar is ready to stop singing his son’s praises or claim that he had the best season in the history of the league. The real-life LaVar is busy getting his son’s tryouts with the NBA from Lithuania and building his NCAA alternative, but the fake one is here to say that Lonzo “never lost” and his statistics for his inaugural Lakers season were off the chart.
He’s also sharing some details about JBA, which is amazing despite the lack of any of the top high school prospects in America. It’s going to be better than the NCAA and the NBA, traveling around the nation on Peter Pans Bus Lines and living in “a hotel so Super, they named it 8.” Free cable, no HBO, every room exits to the street, and only regular Mini-Wheats. Never frosted. It would seem that if you’re not hardened and ready for life after this league, you’re clearly dead.
LaVar also brings along a new shoe to sell to the public. It’s more of a sandal, with a backstrap that will indeed “leave your heel raw as hell,” but you can’t wrong with footwear that doubles as cookware. Who doesn’t want to eat a fried egg on the go?