30 years ago this week, 20th Century Fox released Commando, a B-movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger that’s so much fun you wonder why anyone would bother making an A-movie. A remarkable number of people are killed in the film, most at the hands of Schwarzenegger. Some of those killed were named, others were nameless. Some deaths precipitated one-liners, others went unremarked upon. Some deaths were elaborate, others were simple.
As we memorialize the film (Schwarzenegger’s finest, in my opinion), I thought we should also take time to remember all of the characters whose deaths helped make it so great.
Kill 1, one of John Matrix’s unit mates. Time of death: 1 minute and 56 seconds into the movie.
Famous Last Words: “I was afraid you’d miss me,” to a pair of bad guys disguised as garbage men.
One liner: “Don’t worry, we won’t.” (Said by Cooke, a Green Beret gone bad).
His girlfriend always wondered why he went to put out the garbage cans and never came back.
Kill 2, a slimy Cadillac salesman trying to sell Cooke a car. Time of death: 3 minutes.
Famous Last Words: “Take it from me, you don’t want leather, brother. Leather’s hot, it’s uncomfortable, it cracks. … Wait a minute! You can’t drive that car in here! Whoa! Whoa!”